


Four Times Tony Was A Self-Destructive Idiot And One Time Steve Called Him On His Bullshit

by theappleppielifestyle



Category: The Avengers
Genre: M/M, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-21
Updated: 2012-07-21
Packaged: 2017-11-10 10:53:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t a suicide attempt, he’d like to point out. It was an overestimation of how many pills he’d needed to take, and, well, then he was bored, and of course boredom lead to drinking, so it was on no account a suicide attempt, <em>at all.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Times Tony Was A Self-Destructive Idiot And One Time Steve Called Him On His Bullshit

**One** :  _Graduating college._

Okay, just to get this out in the open: Tony (although being an unparalleled genius and is going to end up being the only thing keeping the Board from going bankrupt and making kitchen appliances, thank you  _very_  much) can occasionally get his pills screwed up.

Not that he  _has_  many- Prozac and Adderall, basically (and he still maintains that those Prozac-looking pills in his pocket are actually vitamin tablets and not Prozac at all, absolutely, haha, now leave and let me take my definitely-not-antidepressants in peace, you fucking bastard), and that should be simple.

But apparently even the magnificent Tony Stark, who is so incredibly awesome that he's graduating from MIT next week at the ripe age of 16, can accidentally swallow too many pills and maybe a bit of vodka and possibly end up in the ICU at 3 a.m. to get his stomach pumped.

It wasn't a suicide attempt, he'd like to point out. It was an overestimation of how many pills he'd needed to take, and, well, then he was  _bored_ , and of course boredom lead to drinking, so it was on no account a suicide attempt, _at all_.

Obie takes all of this in with a straight face, thank the fucking lord, and tells the reporters that Tony's in the hospital for alcohol poisoning.

Which is sort of true- Tony had definitely been on the way towards it before he had passed out.

 

 

** Two:  ** _The car crash_.

The doctors tell him that his parents hadn't experienced any pain, that it was quick and they had died before there was even a chance of it, but Tony looks at one of their faces at the wrong time and realizes it's bullshit.

He numbly nods his way through three doctor's  _I'm-very-sorry-for-your-loss_ 's, before going down to his father's workshop-  _his_  workshop, now- and trashing everything.

He smashes his dad's half-finished inventions, hurls the tools through the windows, and is almost screaming by the time he finishes, standing in the middle of the mangled metal, trembling.

He shoves a hand to his forehead, pressing it over his eyes, thinking,  _it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream_ -

He opens his eyes and everything's still there, still ruined and fucked up and broken in all the wrong ways.

The next breath cuts off on a sob, and his eyes fall on what used to be the thing he had been working on when dad wasn't there (which, granted, was about 98% of the time).

It's a helper bot, but it's hardly recognizable now, which happens when you're hit repeatedly with a wrench. The only thing that Tony can distinguish is the chipped 'DUM-E' on the side.

Pressing his lips together into a hard, shaking line, he reaches towards a screwdriver.

He's going to fix what he can.

 

 

**Three** :  _Barfight_.

He's thirty (ish) and still one of the most fucked up people he's met, so he decides tonight is the night to get unbelievably trashed to the point of getting Rhodey to carry him home, or possibly to a hospital. 

It wouldn't be the first time, but whatever.

When a guy shoves into him when he's walking up for another shot, it seems too good to be true.

He can hear Rhodey say something behind him, something like  _sorry, man_ , but Tony's not having any of it.

It doesn't take much- a few well-placed pushes and  _you got a problem, buddy_ , and then the guy's fist is flying at his face and Tony's laughing and yes, this is so much better.

He ends up having to get 23 stitches and a very pissed-off Rhodey literally dragging him out of the bar, but Tony can't bring himself to regret any of it, because at least now he has bruises to show for some of this shit. 

Obie tells him the next day that he should really take a holiday, and Tony trusts him, because if he can't trust Obie he can't trust anyone, right?

**Four** :  _Pallidium_.

As it turns out, Obie was planning to have him assassinated for years and just didn't find a good time to do it until Afghanistan, and Tony takes that knowledge like he takes everything else: in a very generous glass of whiskey.

And it doesn't matter, right? He's dying anyway, and Pepper's the new CEO and Rhodey is fuck-knows-where, which means he's alone and he's let everyone down and who the fuck  _cares_ , because cameras are going off and he's got into the Iron Man suit at some point, when did that happen-

He laughs and it tastes like bile, like blood, like the black crap that's seeping through his veins as the world spins around him and he's fine, he's  _fine_ -

 

 

**Five** :  _Workshop_.

"What the hell," Steve snaps as he walks- okay, storms- in the door, "was that?"

Tony hardly glances up from- from- okay, he's not 100% sure what he's doing, but it's going to be fucking fantastic. "Is this going to go faster if I act like I don't know what you're talking about?"

Steve's face, if possible, gets even more pinched, and okay, it's going to be like that. "Tony, you goddamn  _died_ -"

"Wow, it's gotta be serious if Cap says 'goddamn,'" Tony says, flipping his goggles up. "Yeah, I died. Lookie! I'm fine now! Limbs attached and everything-"

"The arc reactor went out and you  _died_ ," Steve says, his jaw stiff. "You were dead for three minutes. We- we thought-"

"Yeah," Tony says, his stomach twisting uneasily. "Sorry. I know you guys hate it when I do the whole 'self sacrifice' shtick."

"The whole self-sacrifice shtick," Steve repeats, deadpan. "You- god, you  _moron_. We're a  _team_ , you can't just-"

Tony barely restrains himself from sighing. "Are we done? Because I have to have this finished by Thursday, Fury's going to piss himself with glee if I actually get this done on ti-"

" _Tony_." 

And then he's being turned around by Steve's too-large-to-be-human hands, and his goggles are being pulled off of his head, and the soldiering iron is being pulled out of his hand.

"Whoa, okay, personal space, Cap-"

"Don't pull that again," Steve says, and Tony realizes with a jolt that this isn't Captain America speaking, who inspires the troops and charges shield-first. This is Steve Rogers, who laughs too hard at text language and has cinnamon on whatever breakfast he's eating, including toast, which, come on,  _what the fuck_.

"Uh," Tony says. "Sure. Fine. Whatever, Ca- Steve."

Steve's gaze tracks over his face, and- get this- squeezes his shoulders slightly before letting go, and Tony finds himself almost missing them.

He opens his mouth to say something brilliant and witty as fuck, but it sort of dies painfully as he sees that Steve is staring at it.

Tony's mouth, he means, Steve is staring at Tony's mouth, and okay, does not compute, Tony is very confused-

Steve coughs suddenly, flushing. "Ah, anyway, the team told me to tell you that you're an idiot and they're glad you're not dead. Which we are. Glad, that is. Um. See you upstairs at five for sparring?"

"Yeah," Tony says. "Yeah, that'd be- yeah. Okay."

Steve's smile is sort of twisting at the edges as he leaves, and Tony has no idea what to make of it.


End file.
